


in any other world

by misszuipperips



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Background Pike/Scanlan, Background Relationships, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Light Angst, Minor Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia, Post-Finale, Vax The Raven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 00:58:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12377607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misszuipperips/pseuds/misszuipperips
Summary: After Vecna's defeat, a raven shows up at Gilmore's Glorious Goods. The raven continues to show up, flying into the store and pestering Gilmore into a sort of bird-human friendship that would be embarrassing if Sherri saw him talking to it.aka: the "Gilmore finds out about Vax dying" story we never got to see in the finale





	in any other world

The world didn’t end, but it was a near enough thing to shake the realm as it tried to rebuild. Gilmore reopened his store, and even though Vox Machina don’t visit immediately he knows that they would end up at his door inevitably. They always did. There were more pressing matters to attend to than waiting around for a group of adventurers that just _saved the world_ to buy some magical items from his store—he had to make sure he had a store that was operational by the time they rolled up to drag him into some next batch of trouble.

 

A few days after Vecna’s defeat, a raven showed up on one of the windowsills of Gilmore’s storefront. It pecked indignantly at the window to catch Gilmore’s attention, and in a flight of fancy Gilmore opened the window and places some scraps of food near it. With the world in the state it was, it felt good to be able to help even a bird to survive another day.

The raven eyed him with an affronted gleam in its eyes at the offer of food, as though it was above such paltry gestures.

“The first meal’s free, so take advantage before I start charging you for it,” he said with amusement, resting an elbow on the windowsill.

The bird cocked its head at that, almost like it understood what he was saying. It (with some reluctance) pecked at the crumbs placed before it, and then hopped over to brush against Gilmore’s arm.

A bold bird indeed.

“I don’t think I can offer you any glorious goods or magical items, little bird,” Gilmore said with a smile, reaching with his other hand to try and pat the raven.

After a while, the bird flew off and left Gilmore to his business. He thought that this would be the last he saw of the bold raven, and so he swept off the remaining crumbs and closed the window.

 

It showed up again two days later. This time it flew through the open door into the store and swung around to peck the bell above the door so Gilmore’s attention was caught. When Gilmore walked through to the counter, the raven stood on the countertop and eyed Gilmore with beady bird eyes.

“Back for more food?” Gilmore asked idly.

He should’ve reasonably shooed it away lest it attracted other birds into his store to beg for food, but he decided against it. The raven reminded him of Vax’ildan, with inky feathers puffed up and wings flapping in a show at Gilmore’s question. How sentimental of him; how _romantic_ , despite it all. He gently petted it with a finger on its head, unsure if birds typically appreciated such gestures. He ducked into the back of the store again (laughing at the squawk the bird made, loudly and unappreciative at Gilmore’s sudden decision to stop petting it, most likely), returning moments later with some bread that he breaks up for the raven to eat.

“I’ll have to start a tab for you if you keep this up, you know.”

The bird cawed at him, snatching at the bread pieces and then taking off to fly around the store and land on Gilmore’s shoulder. It laid its head against his, and Gilmore was vividly aware of how sharp the raven’s beak was as it pressed gently against his face. He swallowed a little nervously, and the bird hopped down his arm back onto the counter after some seconds had passed.

“Is that your thanks? Next time I see you, you better have something to repay me for this bread,” he admonished it, shaking his finger at it jokingly. “You’ll eat me out of house and home, I swear!”

 

Much to Gilmore’s surprise, the raven dropped a small bag filled with coins on his counter the next time it visits. He bowed dramatically as the raven made a gurgling bird laugh at Gilmore’s shocked reaction, and then he broke up more bread for it.

 

The raven didn’t visit him every day, but it was near enough. He figured that there were many worldly bird things the raven must attend to, but it always ended up back at Gilmore’s Glorious Goods with an assortment of shiny or semi-valuable objects for him to resell or pocket.

On one occasion, it brought him a feather like the ones that Vex’ahlia used to put in her hair. He held the feather gently, looking between it and the raven that stared him with beady eyes and ruffled feathers.

“If you’re trying to tell me something, you’d find it easier to bring me something that talked Common,” he told it firmly, holding the feather back out to it.

It cawed at him, pecking his hand angrily and flying off with the feather in its claws.

 

He didn’t see it again. He figured he must have angered it in rejecting a gift—clearly, even a raven was not above petty grudges. He felt bad about it, leaving bread pieces on his windowsill over the next few days in the hopes that the raven would see it as an apology, but he had no luck. Instead, he attracted other birds to fly by and sit at his windowsill until Sherri shooed them off and told him to stop leaving bread out before he started bringing all the woodland creatures into their store.

 

Time passed.

And then Keyleth appeared at his door, with a raven on her shoulder and tears in her eyes. The raven cawed, flying over to stand on Gilmore’s counter, and Keyleth burst into tears and ran to hug a very confused Shaun Gilmore.

He patted her on the back as apologies spilled out from the druid, and he saw out of the corner of his eye as the raven hopped about awkwardly at the tears.

“Keyleth, dear, I don’t know what you’re apologising for,” he said gently, pushing her back out of the (rather wet) hug.

“I—we—I didn’t realise we hadn’t told you,” she said, wiping away her tears messily. “I would’ve come sooner if I’d known.”

“What didn’t you tell me?” he asked worriedly, rather alarmed at this turn of events.

“It’s Vax,” she said brokenly, and he felt a bone deep dread well up at those two words.

The raven cawed, and Gilmore bit the inside of his mouth to hold back the swelling grief that threatened to overflow.

“He’s… the Raven Queen’s deal worked, but she collected him and now—” she broke off, sniffing loudly as more tears fell from her eyes, “—now he’s _dead_.”

The raven flew over and landed on Keyleth’s shoulders, pressing its face against the side of Keyleth’s like it had with Gilmore’s. It cawed softly, as gently as a raven could. Gilmore felt like he was choking on the news, and he rocked back on his heels as he tried to reconcile himself to the fact that he would never see the half-elf rogue again. That there would be no wild tales for Vax to tell him; that he was to be left bereft and alone as Vox Machina dealt with their grief and loss as well.

“And… the raven?” he eventually asked, pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes to hide the tears of his own that welled up.

“I think it’s him,” she answered, sniffing again as she tried to rein back her crying. “It’s visited me every day so far, and it’s bigger than any other raven I’ve seen.”

He outstretched his hands, and the raven flew into them without hesitation. He stared at the bird—all that was left of Vax, if Keyleth was correct—and he offered it a teary smile.

“I should’ve known you’d find a way to remain with everyone, even after the Raven Queen herself took you away,” he said with false cheer, a wobbly smile on his lips. “You’ve always been determined to do the impossible, all of you.”

Keyleth offered him an equally shaky smile, tear streaks drying on her face as she tried to hold herself together for Gilmore’s sake.

She spent the next few days hovering around the store with a semi-guilty expression, helping Gilmore until he had to shoo her and the raven— _Vax_ —out of his store before she upset any more customers with her tears.

“You’re always welcome to visit again, Keyleth,” he told her firmly as he pushed her out of his store.

Vax squawked at him, circling them both until Keyleth waved goodbye to Gilmore. He flew off after her as she disappeared into the crowd, but Gilmore knew that he would be back soon enough. He always was.

 

The next time Vax visited, Gilmore didn’t bother coming out to the front of his store and instead waited until the raven made his way to the back where Gilmore sat by a table. Gilmore sighed as the raven hopped about and gently poked at Gilmore’s arm with his beak.

“Vax, when I said to bring someone who spoke common to explain yourself, I didn’t truly expect you to be a raven,” Gilmore said tiredly as he leant forward against the table.

Vax made as apologetic a noise as a raven could make, and pushed forward some gems he had brought with him.

“I’m not mad, my dear… I just wish you’d told me when I saw you last that it was going to be the last time I saw you as _you_.”

The raven shuffled almost awkwardly, looking around as though he wished he could disappear into the shadows like he could as a rogue.

“I won’t press the matter, since there’s nothing we can do about it now.”

 

 

The raven continued to visit him as Gilmore grew older. Vax visited with the same frequency, and Gilmore at least knew that by now he must be making the rounds to the rest of Vox Machina to ensure that they were getting on fine.

Eventually, with the help of Allura, he presented Vax with a small magical notepad with a spelled alphabet to allow him to peck out the letters and form sentences so that Gilmore could understand what he was trying to say. This was met with much delighted cawing, and Gilmore cried through his laughter as Vax wrote him a message for the first time.

 _I’ve missed being able to talk_.

“I’ve missed hearing your voice,” Gilmore replied, a grin huge on his face as he blinked away his tears. “How are you?”

_Would it be wrong to say I’ve never been better?_

The bird made that same gurgling noise that Gilmore knew was laughter.

“Only slightly, dear,” he answered. “The others; are they fine?”

It took a little longer, but eventually Vax presented him with a response.

 _They’re all having their happy endings. Scanlan and Pike are married, Percy and my sister have just had their third child, and Grog is getting on just fine_. _Keyleth is the leader of her people, and she’s doing marvellously. I knew she would. I see her the most._

“Tell them I’m happy for them, and that they have to come visit me before I know they’ve forgotten me at last.”

_I can tell them if I take this with me._

“You’re welcome to. That’s why I made it; it’d be selfish for me to demand you only speak to me.”

 

Vox Machina visited him after that, showing up at his door and swirling him into their affairs like no time had passed. Keyleth told him all about her people and the squabbles she’s been resolving, while Percy determinedly showed him all the miniature portraits of his children until Vex forced him to stop because _he’s already seen them, darling, they’re here with us._ Grog was content to carry all the baby de Rolos around the store as Scanlan entertained them, and Pike talked to him about the temple of Sarenrae and the goings on in Emon while also making sure that Grog didn’t take anything particularly shiny.

Vax joined them, squawking loudly as he flew into the store and swooped down to perch on Keyleth’s antlers. There was a moment where the volume of the ruckus dropped as he flew in, but with a croaking noise the raven made everyone continue as if there was no reason to be melancholy at his appearance.

And if everyone was somewhat shiny-eyed and claimed allergies as they blustered on, the raven did not call them on it.

 

They would visit him as couples or individually as the years passed, if they were travelling through the area or if they were led to visit by a demanding raven that flew in to announce their arrivals. Vax also ferried invitations to Whitestone and summer houses and even villas.

 

_Are you happy?_

“That’s a loaded question and you know it,” Gilmore said firmly, looking down at Vax with a sharp stare. “But yes, despite everything, I’m happy.”

Despite the many years that had passed, the raven looked no older. It was unfair, except that it meant that Vax was still alive and able to see him still. Gilmore took a deep breath and leaned out through the window of his store. His hair was grey now, and even though he should have reasonably retired he was still the owner of Gilmore’s Glorious Goods.

When he looked back down, there was another message waiting.

_We don’t have much time left, do we?_

“That’s the thing about humans. We don’t have as much time to waste as the rest of you,” he replied, holding out a hand for Vax to hop onto. “You’ll be fine, Vax. You still have plenty of family to go and visit, after all. One measly shopkeeper shouldn’t chew up all the time you could be spending with your sister and your nieces and nephews.”

Vax cawed angrily at that, hopping down to tap out a message rather forcefully.

_You’ve never been a ‘measly shopkeeper’ and you know it, Shaun._

“Yes, that _was_ rather dramatic of me.”

He sighed, and ran a finger along Vax’s head gently.

_I’m going to miss you terribly._

“That’s not fair,” he said, sadness and anger choking him like a knot in his throat. “You don’t get to say that after what you did.”

 _I know. I’m sorry_.

“I’m not even dead yet and _now_ you’re giving me your goodbyes!”

_I didn’t mean to upset you. I just don’t want to have another missed farewell._

He wiped away tears, sagging slightly as the anger left him as quickly as it came.

“I miss you so much, Vax. Every day. I know you’re right here, but we both know it’s not the same,” he finally said.

Vax pressed against him firmly, ruffling his wings and making a sad croak that made Gilmore make a choked noise as he tried to hold back his tears once more.

 

Vox Machina visited him again after that outburst, and he was once again swept up into the hullaballoo that came with the presence of now-retired adventurers. Pike and Scanlan looked almost untouched by the years, except now they brought with them a young child. Grog followed in after them, surprisingly spry for a goliath—but then again, most goliaths didn’t make it to his age, so there weren’t many comparisons that could be drawn. Percy and Vex had five children of varying ages, and Percy looked more affected by the passage of time then Vex did. Lines graced both their faces, but Vex still looked like she had more adventures in her where Percy looked contented with his clockwork toys that he showed Gilmore with enthusiasm. Keyleth looked more mature, less awkward in her actions and more the graceful leader she’d grown to become. Vax was nestled on her shoulder, occasionally tugging at the ends of her short hair to get her attention. They brought with them Kashaw and Zahra, who had a half-tiefling child of their own to distract the older de Rolo offspring with bursts of magic and a sly grin.

It was almost unfair how Vax could rally them all to visit him so easily, but he knew it was rather selfish of him to demand they constantly visit him now as a collective that they no longer required his services for their misadventures. They all had their own lives to live; Gilmore had just never been able to find a new group of rowdy adventurers to capture his heart like Vox Machina had.

He greeted them all with a grand smile and a flourish, settling in for lunch as the many children ran around the store front and inspected the magical artefacts on display.

 

 

 

Eventually, Vax flew up to Gilmore’s Glorious Goods to see the door close and a ‘for sale’ sign tacked onto it. He croaked loudly, angrily, crying out and attacking the door as though that would make a difference. Gilmore didn’t answer. He didn’t when Vax visited next, and eventually the raven gave up after the store’s sign was taken down and replaced with something else.

**Author's Note:**

> my first critrole fic....................... i can't believe i wrote post-finale stuff when i am, in fact, currently on ep 24  
> anyway this is for bec (woahrebecca) bc of her gilmore tweets and my own tears at the finale so i hope i did ur boys justice!!!!  
> the title is from mika's "any other world" which is what i listened to while writing this lol  
> you can find me on twitter @ archistrateges and tumblr @ zenyattta so come yell with me if u liked this ahaha  
> (also i'm sorry if some of the setting is wonky bc again i'm boo boo the fool and i'm so far behind)


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